Why Balance Is a Lie—And What You Need Instead

Real life isn’t static. Your energy, your growth, and your joy shouldn’t be either

This article is part of the “Becoming You ” track, where we explore growing into the best version of yourself, because when you thrive, everything around you transforms.

“I used to think I just needed more time. What I really needed was more rhythm.”

It was 6:07 PM on a Tuesday.

Four years ago.

I sat there, laptop open but untouched, emails piling up, and a quiet panic sitting heavy on my chest.

“Mummy!” rang out from the hallway—sharp, urgent, routine.

Homework time.

Again.

I wasn’t just tired. I was stretched, foggy, and emotionally tapped out.

I remember whispering, “I can’t do this again tomorrow.”

But I did.

For weeks.

For months.

Until I realised that I wasn’t just tired.

I was out of rhythm.

Out of sync with the life I was living.

The Myth of Balance

We’ve been sold a lie.

That if we just “balance” things better—work, marriage, parenting, growth, rest—we’ll feel aligned.

But balance implies a static stillness.

And life, especially family life, is anything but still.

What we actually need is rhythm.

A dynamic, flexible flow that honors our energy, our seasons, our humanness.

When I Started Listening to My Energy

Now, I see it clearly: my body, mind, and spirit were speaking.

I just wasn’t listening.

Today, I’ve learned my rhythm.

And that awareness has been a game changer.

I’m most creative between 4 AM and 1 PM. That’s when the ideas flow, the strategies align, and I feel deeply connected to my purpose. I protect this window like my life depends on it—because in many ways, it does.

Between 2 PM and 5 PM, I slow down intentionally. To exhale. I take light walks. I chit-chat with the kids when they’re back from school. I return a call, shuffle through lighter tasks, maybe stretch out on the couch and just be for a moment.

Evenings are for me. I’m not trying to be productive. I want to unwind. I read, sip tea, catch up on French, and reflect. It’s not about output. It’s about recovery.

And here’s the thing:

I didn’t force this rhythm. I discovered it—by paying attention.

Wait…What About the Guilt?

Oh, the guilt.

The whisper that says,

“You’re selfish for needing alone time.”
“The children should come first, always.”
“How dare you rest before all the chores are done?”

I felt it too.

Until I realized:

When I ignore my rhythm, everyone suffers.

My children get the leftovers.

My work feels like wading through mud.

My smile is forced.

My dreams feel far away.

But when I honour it…

I bring my whole, vibrant self to every role I play.

What If Consistency Looked Different?

Ever start a new routine and crush it for three days.

Only to watch it crash on Day 4?

Me too.

But maybe the problem isn’t you.

Maybe it’s that we’ve been taught rigid routines instead of flexible rhythms.

Your rhythm might look like:

• A mindful Monday instead of a manic one
• Deep focus work in 90-minute blocks, then playtime with the kids
• A midweek “rhythm reset” walk—just you and your thoughts
• A Saturday morning dance party to shift the mood

The Shifts That Helped Me Breathe Again

1. Blocking at least 30 minutes every morning just for me (I use it for journaling or stretching. No guilt allowed.)
2. Shifting chores to times when I’m naturally energetic, not when I “should” do them
3. Letting go of perfect routines and embracing “good enough” flow

A Personal Rhythm Isn’t a Luxury

It’s not a productivity hack.

It’s not self-care fluff.

It’s survival.

It’s sustainability.

It’s legacy.

Because when you start living in rhythm, you model something powerful for your children.

• That it’s okay to know yourself.
• That rest is sacred.
• That there’s no shame in honouring your body and your needs.

Let’s Talk

Have you ever felt completely out of sync with your life?

What’s one small change you could make this week to honour your rhythm?

Stella

Becoming Together by Stella Chibuike-Ezike

Get More of our proprietary news and analysis as MoneyCentral is now on WhatsApp Channels  Follow the MoneyCentral Nigeria channel on WhatsApp: Click here!